ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
