this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
