Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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