I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
