just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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