Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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