I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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