In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dear god my vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
