I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
