Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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