i just google imaged poop.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
