I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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