Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
