yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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