I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
