I heard we made out
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
