wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize