Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
