I feel like I'm in dance class right now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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