Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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