Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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