just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
