are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
