Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
