he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
