Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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