Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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