I think i peed on brittanys purse
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
