The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
