Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
