Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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