And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
