porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
