He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
