But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
