I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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