Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
