Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
