My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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