I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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