Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize