Are we in a gay sports bar?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
