talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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