I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize