Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
