I'm really into asian looking animals
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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