Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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