You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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