If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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