Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
