HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
