remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
