what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
