Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
