She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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