how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
