Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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