I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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