if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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