Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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