i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
